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Car & driving jokes

We’ve heard a lot of car and driving jokes over the years so we thought we’d share some of the best… and worst! Feel free to share your favourite with us.


A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub.
Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.


What happens when a frog parks in a no-parking space?
It gets toad away.

Driving frog - Car Jokes

What is Scotland’s friendliest motorway?


What did the jack say to the car?
“Can I give you a lift?”


The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.


What do you call a car that likes to dance?
A Mustango.


What does Woody say when he walks into a German car dealership?

Woody Toy Story - Car jokes

I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.


What is the most tired part of your car?
The exhaust pipe.

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