The world of driving is varied and complex, and the many species of driver that roam our roads are no exception.
Everyone has a different battle plan in mind before they hit the highway, and we’ve all adopted different approaches to dealing with difficult driving situations.
Perhaps you’ll fit one of these types, perhaps you’ll recognise them all. We’ll let you decide…
Typical symptoms include; lengthy tales of their impressive accident-free driving record, needless reminders to complete basic maneuvers and spontaneous fault-finding in your abilities.
This particular driver tends to come in the form of a parental or elder figure. Someone who’s ‘been driving a lot longer than you have’ and therefore knows a thing or two about road use that your inferior, youthful mind hasn’t quite grasped yet.
This attitude creates what can only be described as a classroom-like atmosphere in which you’re forced to receive advice, instruction and criticism on your driving. These are the ones that leave you praying for the day you catch them running a red like so you can finally yell ‘HYPOCRITE’.
The Road Runner
Just like it says on the tin. These guys are classic competitors, and you’ll never see them coming – because they’ve probably already shot past you. Every journey is a race to the finish line, and they can’t stand being overtaken or other drivers getting in their way.
Red lights and stop signs prove a bitter blow on every commute, as this will affect their personal best speed record that they likely keep from their house to the office.
Typical symptoms include; excessive revving, risky junction exits and tailgating.
The Judge, Jury and Executioner
Whatever you do, don’t mess with these guys. These drivers take what they believe to be bad driving by others as a personal offence that should carry the maximum penalty.
Decide to tailgate them, cut them up, pull out on them or extend a rude hand gesture their way – and expect to quickly learn the true meaning of road rage.
Typical symptoms include; cursory hand gestures, screaming through car windows and extended horn blowing.
You’ve been warned.
Typical symptoms include; daydreaming behind the wheel, reduced speed to appreciate their beautiful surroundings and a blissful lack of general awareness.
Totally unphased by the reckless behaviour of other drivers, these cool cucumbers have clearly spent years practicing the fine art of mind over matter. Their ‘zen-like’ sense of calm prevents bad driving from having the power to affect their rage levels, as they choose not to take it personally.
However, the chilled nature of the Pacifist means that they’re often guilty of cruising at a leisurely speed that tends to irritate the above drivers. Of course, this is because they’re probably too busy remarking on how blue the sky is or how cute that puppy on the roadside is to realise the traffic pile up behind them.
Typical symptoms include; music blasting, loud and poor accompanying vocals and owning a pretty impression album collection.
DJs take a unique approach to handling the day-to-day frustrations of road use. More often than not, these drivers will resort to alternative therapies as a means of relieving oncoming road rage episodes.
Loud music tends to be the classic distraction – more often than not these guys will channel all heated emotions into passionate vocal renditions in an attempt to completely block out the existence of other drivers…
Of course, there’s a pretty big issue with this approach, because they do exist…and the louder your musical tribute, the less likely you are to hear or spot them coming.
Author: Joseph Lazare